| Hokay. |
[15 Jul 2009|04:08am] |
If you're going to spend time with me texting someone else half of the time don't even bother hanging out with me. Last time I checked people in relationships were able to talk to each other about problems. Apparently not in this disfunctional relationship. Thats what other people are for, to talk about our problems. I also thought that people in relationships were supposed to care for each other, sometimes I feel that you show no feelings for me at all. Being treated differently or worse than other people you know. Being ignored also really gets to me. These hypocritical rules are so frustrating. When I do them its a huge deal, but when not done by me they're a-ok. You can go through my things but the second I try to find something out I'm a snoop. I don't understand these double standards at all, and if you can explain please indulge me.
Gaihyou jya nai.
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| Update |
[15 May 2009|05:32pm] |
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mood |
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 hungry |
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I almost never update my LJ so I thought I'd give it a shot. I just finished reading the fifth Scott Pilgrim comic. I cannot wait for the last one to come out! Not sure how the movie will turn out but I'm hoping for the best. I usually come here to bitch and I haven't really had a reason to lately so this will just be a post to say how I'm doing. Sex Bob-omb is the band that Scott Pilgrim is in. Quite aresome if I do say so myself.
Well everything finally feels like its falling back into place. Everything feels right how it is right now. Who would of thought Mandie's mom going away for a month and us coming back from the con would cause everyone to be semi-living together for a while. An interesting experience if I do say so my self. The only reason why I wouldn't want to move out because I wouldn't have a place I could go to if I wanted to get away. I guess growing up that kind of disappears. Its time to grow up and deal with reality face to face. I need to start a decent sleeping schedule and start working out so that my body is actually in shape. It may look good but it has terrible stamina. As long as I can keep myself out of trouble and not make an ass of myself I think I'll be fine.
Went to the pokemon tournament in seattle and got whooped the first round. Was a fun time though. Was on Heather's birthday and we went around the town with her ma. Speaking of Seattle gonna go visit Jesse soon. Haven't seen him in dayyyys. Kinda curious what will happen when everyone gets their permanent jobs and such. Will we all still be friends or what? Time will tell. I am always so curious how the future will turn out. Just to get a peek at what will come in five years would be really interesting. But it would change my perspective and make life boring, to know what will happen with no surprises. I guess thats what deja vu is for, to let you know that you're meant to be doing what you are. All of our lives are planned, at least thats what I believe.
Haven't had too much time to sit around on my ass and play video games all day. I miss being able to do that. But thats what summer is for. Hopefully I'll get another job so I can start making some decent money over the summer. Gonna try to squeeze a road trip in to make it interesting. These are the years of my life. I'm supposed to be living life to its fullest. Once I get that job that I'll be working at the rest of my life there won't be as much time to slack off as I can now. Just need to pass my classes get that shit over with and finally move out. Not gonna move out until I'm 22. Kind of sad seeing how many people have moved out already/moved back/and out again. Can't wait to see where I move out to.
I'm gonna go play some games before work, hope you're all trying to live life to its fullest too.
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| Aki con and other business |
[09 Nov 2008|07:39pm] |
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mood |
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tired |
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music |
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Brink |
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I haven't posted in days, and seeing how Jesse just made a post I should too >->
So for the past week or so there has been a lot of cosplay work. For Aki con that was in Everett right next to 'kasans work. I had originally planned to do Minato from Persona 3 the whole con but seeing how the wig didn't come by friday I wasn't able to do him on that day. =/ So I decided to do classic Kakashi but with the Anbu Kakashi wig. Looks quite a bit better than my old wig. The second we get there we attempt to get our badges and get whored by everyone. Finally get our badges and wander around for a bit. Surprisingly there isn't shit to do on friday. But we do hang out with Hitsu, Freya, and everyone. It was nice to finally meet everyone who Mandie has been talking about.
I am pretty sure I got most of their names down, nick names anyways. Not seeing with Kakashi sucks. I forgot how bad it was. and I got a bunch of crap about dying. I thought he was gone for sure but I read the new chapter and no worries yo. Ung.. will rant about non con things in a bit. Not much really happened Friday. Kaku Naru was aresome. I thought the Brawl tourney was at 7PM on saturday so I didn't have too many worries. Until I closely read the schedule noticing that it was at 7AM.. 7 in the fucking morning. We ended up going to Denny's and there was this.. lady there who wasn't wearing much. Was kinda odd to see that in.. so called public. Yet it WAS 2 in the morning. Then the lady at the front desk commented that I'm pretty tall. Which I got A LOT at the con. She then went on about how I'm a tall glass of water. And if any of the ladies with me has taken a sip.. I think we went back to Mandie's sometime that day and ended up staying up until 8AM for the tourney. Which I lost the first match.. but I learned a lot about Snake. Mandie didn't seem too up for it but she stuck around which was nice.
We probably got the most sleep after the tourney and when we woke up at 2. I am getting a lot of this mixed up. But .. oh! I went home friday night. My Minato wig came in. So we went to go get that. or.. something. But the wig came so we finished up the Minato costume when we woke up satuday. Thats it.. okay. 2PM saturday we wake up and make the finishing touches on Minato and Mandie.. worked on something else. Not 100% sure what it was. I have terrible memory. So I got Minato goin on. We went to the dating game that Hitsu and them were hosting. They said they'd pick me to go up but I was too much of a wuss to stand up. I really need to get rid of that anti-social aspect that I have. It was entertaining though. Hearing Chris talk about his balls.. We weren't there for that long Saturday. Got there around 5ish and hung out. Then our 'kasan came to pick us up so we could see HSM on ice. Which was pretty entertaining <-<; Made the con all the more exciting. We ended up leaving at around 11 or so Saturday.
Waking up at 5AM on Sunday to go to the Soul Caliber 5, I mean.. Soul Calibur 4 tournament. There was only one other guy there when I showed up. A few more signed up later. Didn't seem like any of them played before so I felt kinda bad goin' against em. Ended up winning though and got a free Aki Con t-shirt out of it which I was thinking about buying later. After that we got breakfast at Mceedees. The lady at the window asked if we were going to church. xD Since Mandie was wearing her Sakura outfit and I was wearing my Minato suit. Decided to make a lil' recording on Minato's MP3 player. I wasn't too sure how else to upload it so you can download it if you want to listen. o3o
http://www.fileden.com/files/2008/11/9/2180726/VOICE001.WAV
Thinking about it now the con was pretty uneventful. For being its first time though it was understandable. I had a blast though and bought some cool things. Disgaea art book, Chocobo rubber ducky, another flexable halo figure, and a Yoshi for me ma. Next time I'll make sure to get more rest. xD I wanted to stay for closing ceremonies but it was way later. I wanted to get some AMVs in too but I didn't wanna wait for each DVD to get changed. I'm impatient and semi OCD?
Non related con stuff. Every thing I'm reading or watching has to do with death. Its really fuckin' depressing. Only thing that isn't is Bleach. And I've finally come to not run away from my problems. Just deal with them and try to stay positive. Running away only made myself look like an ass and I made many mistakes. But now by making those mistakes I can improve upon them.
It's legit.
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| Falling apart? |
[02 Sep 2008|11:32pm] |
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mood |
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 discontent |
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music |
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Oasis - Morning Glory |
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(
Cast No Shadow by Oasis. )
Some parts of that song are kinda how I'm feeling.
Well fuck.
I.. am glad that I'm stronger than I am. Sabishii ne. It sucks being so selfish. Just want someone to be there. Ya got friends but .. I'm repeating myself from previous post. I'm needy. Yet I make mistakes. How can you want something that you'll probably demolish? Ohhh man. I envy B. Being able to talk to someone he really cares about and they'll listen to everything you say and take it into consideration. Always got my LJ.
They have this new thing at work, where pretty much all of our best customers who have a .. subscription you could call it. To our store is getting fucked over. And its sad seeing all of our customers leave. Like the foreign family the Lagarde's. Donno why but I really like them and they canceled their MVP today. Made me pretty sad. Makes me semi-hate my job for all the shit that corporate pulls with our customers. Kinda throws me into a small depression. I really want to get college over with and get the hell out.
Well.. I need to stay strong and not hurt anyone. Selfish ways will not be good for others in the end.
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| Hoping.. |
[21 Aug 2008|01:48pm] |
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music |
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Simple Plan - I'd do anything |
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That my marriage won't be like my parents.
I really wouldn't want to come home just knowing that my wife and I would be fighting about something really meaningless. I'll make sure that it'll be different.
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[29 Jul 2008|10:42pm] |
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mood |
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 stoked |
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music |
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AVA |
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Cali here I come.
Leaving tomorrow.. so fucking stoked.
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[18 Jul 2008|04:29am] |
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mood |
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excited |
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Dark Knight was so fucking good.
I don't give a shit whether any of you like Batman or not. Get off your asses and go view one of the most beautiful things you'll ever witness.
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| Dreams.. |
[14 Jul 2008|07:36am] |
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mood |
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sleepy |
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music |
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Hero |
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I had a dream the other day that I was looking for Paprika on blu-ray. It was at a place that felt like an anime convention. Some copies went up to 88 fuckin' bucks. "I should of just gotten it in Canada" I was thinking to myself.
Then the other dream that I just had.. I somehow obtained this really expensive ring. We had this small organization that was trying to cash the ring in and when one of the people tried to that certain bank captured the person. There was this small play going on at the moment too and the stage was really strange. To get backstage it curled into a backstage where you had to crouch down. There was some small drawers where we stored the ring in. Out of no where I was in charge of lights.. (Some of the team memebers I remember were Jesse, Brit, and Soleil.) Soleil told me out of nowhere that I was in charge of lights for the play. "Once Santa gets on stage you NEED to turn the light on" So the play goes on and I fuck up the light switch a few times but no one seems to notice. The elves in the play started acting up so I run out and hold one going "Fuck!" and the Santa stops and looks at me saying "What did you just say??" Now that I think about it, it seems like we were set up to get caught during that show. I go and grab the ring and start running. So many people are after me. I start running with a group of people and they turn and notice that I'm running with them "Isn't that Dan?" the other person replies "Yeah." So they try to catch me as we're running through this factory of cardboard boxes. Some people I haven't seen in quite a while from school, relatives, all chasing me. I didn't have a connection with some of the people from school chasing me either. I finally escape back to the stage and go in the little under area using my blue tooth to call Jesse and tell him where I'm at and that I Have the ring. Soleil was down there and gave me a kiss good luck. I guess we were together again or somethin'. When I go back out there are quite a few people waiting for me, I end up escaping them and getting a plane ticket and put the ring in a meatloaf that would later be shipped to me. I remember another part of that dream where we're all outside by a cherry blossom tree. The ring group was all hanging out, I think that must of been before we obtained the ring.
Such a unique dream.. on another note. I keep waking up at 7-9 over the past few days. Its usually hard to fall back asleep. I have no idea why I keep waking up this early. Its nice though. My nose won't stop running. ;-;
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| Its no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy |
[10 Jul 2008|03:04am] |
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mood |
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 indescribable |
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music |
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Please tell me why |
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Whelp this may sound kinda odd but I keep almost any note I'm given. Not sure why but I just went through them. I wanted to go to bed at 1AM but it looks like that didn't turn out well. My fingers smell like delicious fruit and its unsettling. Still have the one of Jessica admitting that she likes me. Not sure why but it made me kinda sad. To think that it was over 5 years ago. Making an LJ post because I haven't made one for daaayys. Mandie you wrote me so many notes over the years. And they were greatly appreciated. For that I was able to remember that something was lost that can never be recovered in 05' when I was 17. I'm thankful for what we had but its over now. We'll eventually be able to talk as friends again.
Have no idea what I want right now. Sitting here listening to three songs over and over, Please tell me why, Hero, and How far we've come. I really want my trip to get here so I can have sometime away to think and relax. Need to get back to that point of being single is okay. I was so content then. That smell.. I was rehearsing the bebop quotes to myself half of the day at work because it was so slow.
"There once was a tiger striped cat, this cat died a million deaths, revived, and lived a million lives and he was owned by various people who he really didnt care for. The cat wasnt affraid to die. Then one day the cat became a stray cat, which meant he was free. He met a white female cat, and the two of them spent their days together happily. Well years passed and the white cat grew weak, and died of old age. The tiger striped cat cried a million times, and then he died too.. Except this time.. he didnt come back to life.."
For those of you who haven't seen that episode. To think that so many years have gone by since I've met you all. So crazy. Might of said it back then of "I wonder what we'll all be doing in 5 years." And here we are. Still wondering where we'll be in the next five years. I just want to become famous and be well known. To make sure people know I exist. Make a statement in the world ya know?
Quite a while ago suicide popped back into my head but was quickly washed away with thoughts of reality. It was just a REALLY bad day. Nothing was going my way and I took the day off from school. So weak minded to say or even think about that. Pitiful really. Each individual human fought so hard to live, even before we knew it. And that we were the ones chosen to be born. That means something. We were all put on this planet for a reason. Even if it was just to mate and keep your blood line going. Its more then that though, enjoying yourself and experiencing what the Earth has to give. I need to get out more. xD Think I'll work out when I wake up tomorrow. Try to beat Okami some and such.
It sucks being impatient. But learning to be patient is a really nice thing. I can still see the bug bite on my arm.. man this post is going in every direction. Don't rush things or they'll end up crappy in the end. I'd know this from previous experience. You have to get to know people first before making rash decisions. It's helpful when people aren't attracted to you at first. Because then you can get to know them. I think thats what helped so much back in the day. I was able to get to know people, I wasn't as suave as I am now. Not to be really arrogant. It's true though. I believe you have to become friend's with someone first before going any further. Sol and I weren't that great of friends and that we didn't have much in common. Same with Danielle. Next time I won't mess up. I can't. I almost felt that I was using them to find out what I want, and I had no intentions of doing so. I wasn't happy with just a relationship, I took that too seriously and didn't want in. Only sex doesn't work either because thats the only thing holding it together. There needs to be a small mix of both to make it just right.
Kinda feel bad too, Jesse hasn't been in a relationship for so long and he still seems to be holding it together quite well. Yet its only been a short amount of time for me and it almost seems like I'm losing it. Something to admire though, to be single and strong. I need to get to that point. I'm sure I'll feel amazing once I get there. Man.. I needed that rant. Going to move onto some RL stuff.
Metal Gear Solid 4 finally came out, game was amazing. Had little treats for MGS fans and stuff. Can't rant about that now.. too.. not motivated to do so.
The world was put here for us to experience it. Now go out there and enjoy life. Just because many people enjoy the world with someone else doesn't I have to as well. I need to go enjoy myself and stop sitting here at 3 in the morning ranting about it. Parents are about to get up. I need to start getting a decent sleeping schedule and waking up at a normal time. Okay, done. I need some fucking sleep. And if you're reading this right after I post it, you probably do too. Get some sleep! Over and out.
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